“Don’t confuse me with the facts! ” “I need to see this from my truth of the matter only! ” Sound knowledgeable?
Have you noticed how arguments escalate with emotional abusers? They tell you that an item is bothering them in no uncertain terms, although often fail to fill most people in on what all the hell it is. So here you are knowing fully what they feel, yet you remain in the dark that explains why.
Then, if you get blessed, they may expand on their issue with you feel this sigh of relief, because today you have something you can cope with or at least address. So, you seek to share the perspective, your point of view. And wham, you’re cut off with, Don’t confuse me together with the facts. My mind is composed.
You really feel unheard in that moment books, indeed, are… You are not awarded permission to share. You are not to have an opinion that differs with theirs. You see, if you hold on to your point of view, there is a price in this interaction with an emotional abuser.
Part of how they deal with their your own vulnerability is to make you wrong in order for them to be best suited. As you know, from where that they stand, they must be best suited. So, don’t confuse these with the facts.
If this is the pattern of interaction with your intimate spouse, take a hard and fast look at the mechanics of abusive relationships. All the better you grasp a lot of these dynamics, the easier it will be for you to break the cycle from abuse before it spirals out of control.
To get this message by means of you, the emotional abuser will pile on another layer of attack aimed to stop you in your tracks. It may possibly sound like this… “Well, that is the logical position, BUT…
You know a “but” is coming and with it is the up coming emotional assault.
It may get started with, “That’s the problem with you… You will be too intense, too persuasive, too late with that explanation, too whatever to make sure you compel me to take you in and actually hear that there is something to say… worthy of a attention, much less my consideration. ” Get the picture?
What psychological and mental abusers are really telling you can be that there is no room for a reality in a discussion with them. Embracing your standpoint is beyond them. You observe, your perspective doesn’t bring about their consideration, because they have already made up their mind plus they really don’t want you to mix them up with them with your facts.
The price most people pay is verbal psychological and mental abuse. You know the topic is over, so you pull it back and lick the wounds inspired by the sentimental abuse dished out to stay you in your place. For everybody who is following me in this detailed description of this interaction, then you likely have experienced verbal emotional exploitation. It is both subtle and significant. It leaves you emotionally off base, sometimes even before you know what materialized.
Many of the mess around “don’t confuse me with the facts” is nothing more than an effort to re-establish a great unequal distribution of electric power in the relationship. The psychological and mental assault or blow to your character is their effort to tilt the scale, because in that moment they are tasting their own vulnerability.